Meili-Chan

This song has been playing continuously in my head lately, by Matthew West - All In

"My feet are frozen on this middle ground
The water's warm here but the fire's gone out
I played it safe for so long the passion left
Turns out safe is just another word for regret

So, I step to the edge and I take a deep breath
We're all dying to live but we're all scared to death
And this is the part where my head tells my heart
You should turn back around but there's no turning back now

I'm going all in
Headfirst into the deep end
I hear You calling
And this time the fear won't win
I'm going, I'm going all in
(I'm going, I'm going) all in
(I'm going, I'm going)

I believe that one day I will see Your kingdom come
And I wanna hear You say, "Welcome home my child, well done""

10/3 Lee passed away, has she known Christ? :(
It was shocking- cardiac arrest, Mallory Weiss tear, moving to new 🏠

I know it's technically a no or not yet but I still had hope.

God please just put him away. But I've seen a clearer sign now. I know I've asked for it and thanks for giving it to me.

I realised that there's so much that I can't do by myself and God's interference is always best and loving. He is my glory and I will not put down any standard. For He doesn't withhold anything good from those who love Him

"the LORD God is a sun and shield; the LORD bestows favor and honor; no good thing does he withhold from those whose walk is blameless." Psalm 84:11

09/03/2018

I'm writing these to remember that God knows what He's doing. It's a reminder that after all, I'm citizen of heaven and this painful world is not my home!

- my grandfather 15/11 17.30WIB pneumonia
- my sister in law's miscarriage approx 16/12
- mother in law of my uncle 22/12 heart attack
- church's relative's daughter (she's 26!) 26/12 cancer
- "truth is you know what tomorrow holds" song - then I lost my fav job notetaker the next day 8/1
- cousin of my grandfather 20/1 low BP
- mom's MRI showing brain tumour? 20/1
- my uncle 7/2 stroke

I've wanted to post something cheerful on my FB. But each time Christmas, new year wasn't a very happy one.. well...

I'm glad now I have recovered from my dry retching (3 weeks), but significantly lower appetite. I think that not due to psychological!! (Since I'm still sad)

I thought saying "I'm at the bottom and it can't get worse, it will only go up from here" was an encouragement. But not really! I can still go down and I dislike comforting lie. My real comfort is through Jesus in Revelation 21:4 "He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death' or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away"